Boy Mom

My family has girls. Here and there a boy will show up like my cousin Jace but for the most part, my family has girls. Now I know it’s the dad that decides the baby’s gender, however, I was going to be an exception and I was going to have a girl.

I was going to be the mother of a beautiful daughter, my mini-me. The teenage/young adult years would be tough (sorry mom for all I put you through) and then we would end up being best friends because that’s what happened to me. I call my mom every single day. That’s the closeness I wanted with my little girl.

I’m having a boy.

My fianc√© (Zack) wanted a girl. I thought it was great that I had a guy that wanted a girl when I wanted a girl; we were totally on the same page! About a week before my 14-week ultrasound I was in the car crying because I felt like I just didn’t know this baby at all. Where was the natural closeness I was supposed to feel? Out of nowhere, I thought to myself, “You’re a boy, aren’t you? You’re a boy and that’s why when I talk to you it feels so forced. I’ve been thinking of you all wrong.” The next time I talked to Zack I told him what I thought. His response “Mother’s intuition? I guess we’ll find out soon.”

Sitting there with the ultrasound tech we watched as she moved the wand around to show us our “lentil” as we called him at the time. Quickly she moved the wand away from my belly.

“Do you guys want to know the sex?” She asked. “YES!” We both said right away. I am the most impatient person on the planet and there was no way I could go another moment without knowing.

I am actually so excited to be a boy mom. I’m not excited for bugs and dirt but honestly whose to say he won’t want to play dress up like the girl I always dreamed about. I’m excited for the love a son has for his mother, I’m excited for him to grow into a wonderful man like his father. I’m just excited to have a healthy baby.

Every day I realize right now I am meant to be a boy mom. Not because I don’t know any fun braiding techniques, not because even though I love makeup, sparkles, and wigs I’m too lazy to do anything with myself anymore. I’m not ready for my little girl because I’m not ready as a woman myself. I’m not ready to teach another female all the lessons she needs to know.¬† The last thing we need in this world is another girl who doesn’t recognize her self-worth. Z is a prime example of everything a man should be so I know our son will have an amazing role model to look up to.

Our anatomy scan a couple weeks later confirmed that yes he was still a boy and we began calling him by his name in private or with my mom. One day we’re going to try again for our girl. We have another boy name picked out just in case though.

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